I am not particularly drunk but to the world I must look like I have had a skinfull. I am walking through St Pancras station and shuffling like an old man instead of a man in his mid-forties. I am tired and I just want to collapse on my bed. My legs feel all tight and rigid and I have no desire to spend any more time getting back than I have to. It is only 9pm, for some they are just getting going. In the taxi my right arm feels heavy and dead. I have no desire for conversation. In fact I had little over dinner. I felt rigid and uncomfortable on our small table – I need to be able to spread out. My team doesn’t say anything to me but it must be more visible now. I sit down at the bar and in the pub am asked if I want a seat. A subtle perhaps not even conscious thought of my need over their’s. I sit down on my travels from A to B as many times as opportunities present; it is tiring fighting you’re brain for control of movement.
I reflect back on this diary note some while after and despite the obvious feeling of my Parkinson’s symptoms I still have to add that I wholeheartedly enjoyed my evening. I hope I get many more times like these but I do wonder how the disease will or won’t impact me. For a large part that will be down to the effectiveness of medication.
PS things can change quickly, since my last post I have hit a wall and finding it harder to get through a day. Work is also becoming more demanding again. I may have to add in some Dopamine Agonist quicker than I hoped!